


The Puzzler

by MageOfMischief (Silverstar706)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternia, Fan Characters, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-13 02:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21236456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverstar706/pseuds/MageOfMischief
Summary: Lexxit is cowardly tealblood looking to fill a quadrant and this potential moirail is better than he could have ever hoped for. This pale romance could bring him to his doom just as easily as it could bring the emotional support he needs.





	The Puzzler

For your privacy it is recommended that you don’t use your typing quirk

You’re chatting with a random stranger on Buzzswap!

You both like Books and are looking for a Matesprit.

Stranger: BC?

You: Teal, you?

Stranger: Olive. Pick one: cheesy pale pickup line, red pickup line, anxiety inducing image or cursed image?

You: Hell-o- again Equani…. I believe y-o-u said y-o-u w-o-uld g-o- to sleep a fair while ag-o-.

Stranger: I don’t need sleep I need tail!

You: I’m just g-o-ing t-o- type “I t-o-ld y-o-u s-o-” int-o- -o-ur Tr-o-llian chat s-o- when y-o-u wake up h-o-rrendously late and tell me y-o-u feel like h-o--o-fbeastmanure I can send my judgement instantly.

Stranger: That plan relies on me actually going to sleep at some point.

You: That wasn’t a challenge.

Stranger: too late!

Stranger has disconnected.

That was the first one in a while that didn’t immediately send him explicit images, unfortunately he knew her and did not see her in any quadrant. Finding a potential matesprit was exhausting and Lexxit was running out of patience. Maybe if he changed tactics and looked for a moirail instead he might have a chance at not getting culled for being bad at romance.

He clicked back to the Buzzswap homepage and changed his interests for the eighth time that night. Books and…. Logic puzzles, if he was going to get a moirail he wanted someone who was intelligent. He clicked the diamond and waited for a match.

For your privacy it is recommended that you don’t use your typing quirk

You’re chatting with a random stranger on Buzzswap!

You both like Puzzles and are looking for a Moirail.

Stranger: hi!

You: Hello

Stranger: what kind of puzzles do you like? my favorites are scrambelclaws and wordwebs

You: I myself am a fan of logic puzzles and riddles.

Stranger: i like riddles! but what exactly are logic puzzles?

You: A logic puzzle is a problem that can be solved through deductive reasoning.

Stranger: that sounds really cool do you know one that I could solve?

You: I do, let’s see if you can figure this one out: Two guardians stand in front of two doors one of them always tells the truth and the other always lies, both of them claim that their door is the right one. How do you figure out which way to go by only asking one question?

Stranger: can I just punch them and ask if it hurts?

You: That depends, how hard can you punch?

Stranger: not very so the one that says it hurts is the liar!

You: I would say that's puzzle solved.

Stranger: yay!

You: By the way how many pieces are your scrambleclaws?

Stranger: most of mine 500 to 1,000 pieces but I really want to get a 5,000 piece one at some point

You: That’s pretty impressive. Would you like to connect on Trollian and chat more?

Stranger: yes! you seem really nice i dont have a trollian but im Namani Parace on prongle

You: Look for a friend request from Lexxit

They were pleasant to talk to but Lexxit was really hoping they knew more than scrambleclaws and basic puzzles. It would preferable to be moirails with someone who was on his level. He hadn’t been on Prongle for a while and his profile was still pretty sparse. Maybe it was about time he updated it. He found a neglected chat log from someone he used to be friends with was filled with unread messages telling him to die. Once he friended them on his fake account to keep an eye on them he could properly block them.

There was one unread message from Azurit, that was strange, Azurit knew he rarely went on Prongle. Then again she could see the future so screw what he thought right? It was a picture from a couple hours ago of a card from her tarot deck, the two of cups with the words “I thInk y0u f0und a keeper” superimposed over the image. The words ‘anxiety induced stalker syndrome’ came to mind.

Lexxit rolled his eyes and looked up Namani’s profile, she was a goldblood barely half his age. Okay, he took that mental comment from earlier back, thousand piece scrambleclaws were actually very impressive for someone her age. She even found a niche on the internet for puzzle timelapses with the option to send her a puzzle. It was a pretty effective and creative way to feed her obsession.

Being in a Moirailegence with someone so much younger wasn’t exactly an issue per se but it would likely be a lot of work. Being so young and low on the hemospectrum was a liability. Whatever, it wasn’t like this would be the first time he had gotten close to someone just for them to be culled. He sent the frond request. 

Azurit was right as always. Namani was easy to talk to, he never felt threatened by her. She didn’t have any ulterior motives to be wary of, she just wanted a good friend. She really enjoyed the easier logic puzzles he sent her way and Lexxit even downloaded a computer scrambleclaw game. They chatted and told each other stories for hours on end. Lexxit knew he probably wouldn’t get that kind of honesty from someone who was older and already beaten down by the caste system and he was grateful for it for the chance to talk openly.

LT: I’m a c-o-uple pages int-o- the sh-o-rt st-o-ry I’m writing and I l-o-st f-o-r inspirati-o-n, what are y-o-u up t-o-?

NP: i just started a puzzle with fumky looking pieces

LT: D-o- y-o-u think the jankey shapes make it easier t-o- fit the pieces t-o-gether?

NP: Jamkey soumds like a fum word! The extra jamkey omes are harder cause its hard to guess what kimd of piece fill that space, mildly jamkey pieces are easier cause you cam guess the piece better.

LT: D-o- y-o-u mean hard predict like the fractal -o-nes I’ve been partial t-o-?

NP: yeah but a lil less jamkey amd with more pieces and actual pictures imstead of ramdom color splatter

LT: I like the abstract puzzles they feel m-or-e challenging. Y-o-u seem t-o- -o-nly d-o- puzzles what d-o- y-o-u d-o- -o-utside -o-f y-o-ur hive?

NP: i do mot get to leave my hive very oftem cause my lusus does mot like it whem i go out it meams i do mot have much else i cam do

LT: If y-o-u want t-o- g-o- -o-ut y-o-u sh-o-uld just d-o- it, being stuck in y-o-ur hive is n-o- way t-o- live.

NP: shes bigger tham me amd drags me back home if i rum off

LT: That’s a shame I was h-o-ping we c-o-uld meet up in pers-o-n and g-o- somewhere, is there a chance I c-o-uld visit y-o-u and stay the day?

Despite Prongle saying she was still online she didn’t respond. He didn’t make a mistake did he? Maybe he got too comfortable, came off too clingy or desperate for attention. Why wasn’t she responding? He minimised the tab knowing that staring at it would make it worse.

Lexxit’s lusus sensed his anxiety and came in from the next room to comfort him. The small winged fox creature jumped to his lap and chirped in a concerned fatherly manner. Both of them looked up at the soft ping that told him he had a message. The curious lusus alighted to the top of Lexxits head as he turned back to the husktop screen.

NP: i do really wamt to see you but my lusus might hurt you i thimk you might be able to visit while she is out getting food but you cammot stay for lomg

LT: I’ll take it, just tell me when and where.

Namani lived up a long winding mountain road just above the town he lived in. Very few trolls lived along the road, on the way he saw a bronzeblood outside his hive gardening. Lexxit hopped out of his scuttlebuggy at a lookout point below Namani’s hive to wait for her to give him the go ahead. It was rare for him to travel anywhere even mildly woodsey (forests didn’t like him) so he had never seen the town from this vantage point. He was stunned seeing the ocean of lights like this for the first time. From the small apartments of the lowbloods to extravagant mansions of the highbloods and everything in between, he could see it all. He could pick out his own hive and with a little searching he even found Azurit’s which was much closer than he thought. He whisked out his palmhusk and took a picture.

The device buzzed in his hand and the non palmhusk friendly Prongle popped with a message from Namani telling him that her lusus had left. He really needed to ask her to get a Trollian, it was so much more streamlined and convenient especially for mobile use.

After a few minutes the imposing figure of the ghostly white wolf came into view gently carrying a bag between her powerful jaws. Her long fur hung off her wiry body making her look like she had gotten wet. On closer look he could see that her fur was just thin and had very little volume. While she had a narrow frame it was clear that she was more than strong enough to kill him in a single well planned strike. The massive creature sent chills down his spine and the idea of finding her in a horror game came to mind.

Lexxit found himself frozen in place even after she disappeared down the road. His hand shook as he opened the scuttlebuggy door to retrieve the gift he had brought for Namani. He had to leave the vehicle here because the white terror of a lusus had blocked off Namani’s driveway with large rocks only leaving a narrow path left behind.

He clutched the wrapped box to his chest. Why was he doing this? One wrong move and he was going to have his neck snapped. Was this really worth the danger? He looked around for potential escape routes and thought about turning back. Her hive came into view and so did the dropoff next to it. There was a steep but scalable slope that led directly down to his scuttlebuggy. He finally loosened his death grip on the box and turned around to see Namani open her front door and sprint towards him. She was barely half his height with messy long hair and had bright full yellow eyes.

She didn’t speak until she got got closer and when she did she was quiet, like she was afraid to be heard.

“Lexxit, I’m so glad you came.”

“It’s good to see you, I’ll be honest seeing your lusus scared me.”

“She scares me too I will make sure you do mot see her agaim I set a timer for the earliest she could come back, let’s go imside so she cammot see us from amywhere.”

“Yes, let’s avoid that.”

Namani gently took his hand and led him inside, her hive was covered wall to wall in scrambleclaw puzzles she had finished and glued together. There wasn’t an inch of wallpaper that was visible, they were perfectly and meticulously fit together as closely as the pieces they contained. Several sat on the floor at various stages of completion. A few cabinet faces and other things that were left unpuzzled likely because she hadn’t found one that fit yet. It looked like she was determined to cover every flat surface in puzzles. He turned around and looked at the back of the door, yup that too. Between the puzzle overload her hive was messy with toys and stuff scattered about.

“Woah.”

“I like my puzzles.” Namani said with a happy hop.

“That's an understatement, you are going to run out of space soon.”

“I swap them out sometimes amd wamt to figure out a way to put them om the floor without messimg them up.”

“I suppose you could put plastiglass panels over it.”

“That soumds hard to get.” Namani’s eyes fell on the box Lexxit was carrying. “What’s that?’

“I brought you a present.” Lexxit handed over the box to the small goldblood.

“That’s so mice you did mot meed to do that.”

“Well given the situation with your lusus I have no idea when I will be able to see you next so I was worried it could be awhile before I get the chance again.”

“Aww, thamk you.”

Namani hopped over to the loungeplank with Lexxit in tow and tore into the wrapping. She stared in awe at the 5,000 scrambleclaw detailed with a richly colored naval battle.

“This is so cool, how did you find it?”

“One of my contacts directed me to the site, he likes puzzles but not nearly as much as you do.”

“Thamk you so much” Namani snagged him for a tight hug.

“To be fair you are relatively easy to get presents for.”

“Still the coolest thimg I have ever gottem.”

Namani put the puzzle on the tv stand after shoving back the stack of boxes already there. She gave him the grand tour showing off even more puzzles. It was clear that she had a few other hobbies but they were far less represented. There was very little evidence of her lusus presence in her hive besides a corner in her respiteblock that clearly belonged to the furry menace. The two chatted casually while Lexxit helped Namani figure out what to eat. She had a lot of ingredients brought home by her lusus and had a basic idea of how to cook but she had no idea how to put things together and season them. They both decided on fish and Namani showed him to the long neglected seasonings.

“Some of these have gone stale, I would recommend tossing them but we can still work with what we have left.”

“That works, how did you learm to cook?”

“I’m a picky eater, I eventually got to the point where I decided it was just easier to learn to cook for myself with online recipes than to hope the food I was getting wasn’t terrible.”

“Cam you teach me to cook?”

“Of course, if you get a Skrype we can video chat though I would also recommend getting a Trollian account as I use it the most.”

“Yeah your Prongle seems pretty sparse I guess you do mot use it much.”

“Not anymore, I just use it to talk to you. An easy way to cook fish is to season it well and stick it in the crisprange until it flakes easily, just be careful to not burn yourself on the inside. You can cook it on top but it’s easier to accidentally burn it that way.”

“Easier is probably better to start off and mot burmimg amythimg is good.”

“Knowing you I think you will get the hang of it pretty quickly.”

“It should mot be too hard to learm, do you know what would be a good idea for a Trolliam or Skrype name?”

Lexxit took one look at her hive and knew it had to have puzzle in it. “Let me think about it for a bit in the meantime, do you have anything that tastes plain like a dirt tuber?”

“Yes! I have those!”

“Good, we can chop one up and taste some seasonings to see what you like.”

“That sounds like fum! I will go get some.”

About mid tasting party a thought popped into his head, “what about unhinderedPuzzler?”

“For a Trolliam mame? I thimk it soumds cool! I may need help spelling it though amd I really meed to practice my lamgage skills in general.”

“You’re still young you have plenty of time to work at being more well spoken so I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“I’m really excited to learm more though.”

“Just language or more?”

“I wamt to learm more about everythimg!”

About mid laugh the timer on the fish went off causing Lexxit and Namani to nearly jump out of their skin. After a few seconds of startled silence Namani spoke up.

“It was just the food timer mot the doom timer.”

The two shared a nervous laugh as Lexxit retrieved the perfectly cooked fish. The table was covered in yet another puzzle so they opted to hang out and eat on the floor.

“Not to be rude but why is your hair so tangled?”

“It’s too hard to maimtaim so I gave up tryimg.”

“Next time I am able to visit I can fix it up for you if you want.”

“I would be fime with that it’s startimg to get out of hamd, I cut it all off at one poimt but that was a while ago.”

Lexxit felt his palmhusk buzz but decided to check it after he left, whatever it was it could probably wait. 

The chatted idly about all the things they had been up to. Lexxit had more to tell because he wasn’t on lusus lockdown but Namani had plenty of jokes from the people she followed on Prongle. Time passed quickly and they soon forgot about the timer, perhaps they laughed too loud when it went off. Maybe it happened when they were sharing music, it didn’t matter, the result was the same.

Lexxit felt an existential sense of dread a few moments before he heard the front door and the chilling growl that followed. The bag hitting the floor sounded like a court gavel and he was very guilty. There would be no trial and there would be no survivors. He could vaguely hear Namani yelling as the monstrous lusus leapt towards him.

He only had enough time to lean back in a pitiful attempt to escape his fate before he felt a searing pain in his leg. Oh great he thought, she was going to play with him before killing him. Namani wrapped her arms around the creature’s large head desperately trying to wrench her jaws open. The small goldblood was casually shook off dragging Lexxit closer the same motion. Her jaws opened just long enough to clamp down on his midsection on the left side, violently shaking him till his head spun.

The teal covered jaws released for a final bite, the jury was in and of all things it was his ridiculous fashion sense that set him free. The very same fluffy feather cowl that got him mocked on many occasions caused her to misjudge the attack leaving her with nothing more than a mouthful of feathers. Taking advantage of her confusion Namani leapt over him, covering the beast's face with a blanket and holding on.

Lexxit could hear Namani pleading with her lusus to not hurt him as he sprinted to the door. Namani held her off just long enough for him to get outside, she charged him again only to slam the door shut behind him. The short distance to the drop off seemed much too far away with death snarling behind him. Namani must have found a way to stop her from getting out the door or she would have caught up long before he stumbled and rolled down the slope to safety.

As he tucked himself into his scuttlebuggy a deafening howl echoed across the mountain. She wasn’t going to give up just yet. The vicious white mountain descend upon the small buggy, slamming into it and ripping off pieces to get at him. The moment she turned over the vehicle with ease it stopped feeling like salvation and more like a death sentence.

Lexxit couldn’t help but start crying as she began to deform the frame inwards. It wasn't the first time he faced death but he always had a way to weasel his way out of it in the past. He always had a plan, a trick up his sleeve, a contact to save his ass. He had wished that when he died it would be quick and preferably painless, he knew he wasn’t brave enough to face his own demise.

At some point it must have become too tedious to crush him in his own buggy and she began to push the damaged vehicle to the edge of the mountain. Lexxit dragged himself to the back seat in the hope that it would protect him better. He felt the vehicle fall out from under him as it began it’s trajectory down the mountain. The world faded around him and he fell unconscious long before the cage came to a stop.

He came to for a short time, just long enough to see Azurit and someone else he didn’t recognise pry open the door with a crowbar and start pulling him out.

Lexxit opened his eyes to a familiar ceiling but it took awhile for him to realize that he wasn’t actually dead yet. He blinked away the gunk that had built up in his eyes and began to sit up despite the pain in his side. There was a startled squeak as his lusus was dislodged from the spot on his chest. The small creature immediately went about licking his face and generally fussing over him.

He had woken up in Azurit’s hive on her loungeplank with his leg and side bandaged up. A basic change of clothes was on the table as well as his cracked husktop and a note that said she would be back soon and directed him to food.

Somehow in his dazed state he didn’t quite see that he was completely surrounded by Azurit’s lusus. He startled as the back of the giant serpent moved near his head. The front end popped up by his feet to check on him.

“I am sorry to say that I don’t believe I’m in any condition to be receiving hugs right now.”

The giant friendly noodle seemed saddened by what he said but she understood, gently booping the side of his head before slithering about to make a path for him.

Lexxit slowly and carefully stood up, getting changed out of his shredded pants was a pain in the ass. Eating was less awful, but it was quiet, he didn’t dare look at his husktop yet. He idly looked over all the shiny, pretty things Azurit had collected and displayed. She was like a well organized mystical crow with a knack for interior design.

Every small noise made him jump, he was in a familiar place with two protective lusii and yet he didn’t feel safe. The wind changed, creating a noise that vaguely sounded like a howl and sending Lexxit into a panic. His lusus pawed at him frantically to refocus his attention.

He snapped back to reality, pulling the fluffy father figure close and burying his face in his feathers. A few tears escaped as he tried to push away what had happened.

He stayed there until Azurit called his name from the front door.

“I’m up here,” he didn’t mean for his voice to crack but he couldn’t exactly take it back.

Azurit found him on the floor attempting to get up and lent him a hand.

“I’m terribly sorry for not seeing that you were in danger sooner, I got preoccupied and had not checked your fortune since I messaged you on Prongle.”

“These things just happen to me, that’s how it is.”

“Regardless I feel partly responsible. If you want to you are perfectly welcome to stay in my hive until you get better. I did bring some of your fenrec’s food when I went to retrieve him and your clothes so you don’t need to worry about that for the moment.”

“Thank you, I think I will take you up on that offer. If I’m being completely honest I don’t want to be alone right now.”

He had been out for a while about two days and it took about a day for Lexxit to begin to emotionally recover. When he finally checked Prongle it showed that Namani hadn’t been online since they last talked, her followers were leaving messages on her wall wondering where she was.

Maybe it was for the best that their moirallegiance didn’t work out. It was hard to shake the feeling of wanting to see her again though. He logged out of his profile.

Lexxit stayed out of Azurit’s way during readings and Azurit didn’t say anything when the howling wind sent him into a panic. It was embarrassing to be afraid of normal noises on such a visceral level but it slowly started to go away.

After half a wipe Lexxit was healed up enough that he felt comfortable going home.

Home didn’t feel right, it was too quiet and devoid of humor. Lexxit knew exactly what was missing but he was too much of a coward to do anything that could put him anywhere near that demon lusus again.

He started to isolate himself more, even setting his higher up contacts to organize a few web based capture the flag and code breaker games to keep them all occupied and out of his hair. It didn’t take that many days of boredom and crippling curiosity for him to log back into Prongle.

More death threats and per usual, fucking amatuers. Namani’s Prongle had picked up in activity and she had a new banner. It probably shouldn’t have taken so long for him to realize it was the very same puzzle he had gifted her but he wasn’t in the healthiest state of mind. It was on her rumpusblock wall, completely finished and had replaced at least half a dozen other puzzles. A pinned post sat at the top of her page. 

“im really sorry for mot beimg active i have mot beem doimg well. my mew bammer puzzle was from someome i had become good friemds with but because of my mistake they are mot talkimg to me mow. if they are still alive i just wamt them to mow i am very sorry.”

Lexxit smacked his head on the table a few times to try and stop himself from doing something stupid. It was too late, his heart had already made its decision. He hastily ordered an armored vest with a reinforced collar to lessen the chances of him dying this time.

He probably should have messaged Namani but he really didn't know what to say. "Hey your lusus almost killed me and there's a good chance she will succeed this time but I still really wanna see you" just sounded idiotic. Not to mention how much he tried to forget her before realizing he didn't want to be without her.

Securing his new vest and throwing a blazer over the top, he just needed one last thing to give him the courage to go through with it.

BT: Azurit, what are my chances of dying t-o-night?

AV: SurprIsIngly l0w. Why? What are y0u d0Ing n0w?

BT: -O-h n-o-thing much, I just needed the reassurance.

AV: Why d0 y0u feel the need to lIe to me?

BT: I think we b-o-th kn-o-w h-o-w idi-o-tic I am with-o-ut a l-o-ng explanati-o-n.

AV: G00d luck.

BT: Thank y-o-u.

The dazzling city lights that had previously captivated him were reduced to barely a distraction as he parked in the same spot as before. Now that he knew where her hive was he could get a vantage point from above to scope it out. Her lusus was sleeping near the front door and Namani was out on her second floor balcony.

If this were a human movie some shitty flute cover of mission impossible would be playing as he jumped, missed and resorted to carefully climbing up to the second level. It would have looked so cool if he had been able to make that jump.

Namani was completely distracted, it looked like she was trying to put puzzle pieces on a gogdam flower pot. Lexxit was still not confident enough to talk louder than a whisper, it was enough, she heard him call her name.

She looked like she was going to explode, barely containing herself long enough to run over.

“You came back.”

“Sorry about the surprise, I didn’t want to get your hopes up only chicken out.”

“Mo domt be sorry, it’s the best surprise.”

“How about another? Would you like to join me for an adventure?”

“Yes. But I have a questiom too.”

Her lusus appeared at the door snarling, taking small and almost cautious looking steps. Namani’s eyes flashed to blue and the air around them started to tingle.

“No! Don’t you dare touch him!”

The snarling stopped and she stepped backwards to the door, never taking her eyes off him. Namani’s right eye returned to normal but her left stayed blue, she watched her lusus for a few moments before turning back.

“Cam you please be my moirail.”

“Of course I will, I’m not exactly willing to risk my life for just anyone. ”

“Yay! Amd dom't worry I womt let her hurt you ever agaim.”

Namani hugged him tightly, Lexxit gave his would be killer a nod before picking the small goldblood up by the waist and whisking her away for a night of exploration.

For the record Lexxit somehow managed to stick the landing and had her home before morning.


End file.
